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My best friend’s wedding.

And I don’t even have a pic, worse, couldn’t even send a bouquet.

Nine years ago, if I had told you, this guy will fall in Love, fight against the girl’s family and marry someone of his choice, I would die laughing before I finished the sentence. Not that he is not capable of anything miraculous like most motivated human beings, but he just never got into stuff that was close to being called exciting or involved lot of effort, negotiation or communication. But when he did, he was a killer.

I moved but stayed in touch. More with him, than my family. He stayed and finished his (post) graduation, met a girl and fell in love. His family migrated to North America, he delayed his own entry but came, then went back and stayed. Months dragged and to cut a long story short, informed his parents of his decision, one strong willed, unwavering, decision. His amazing parents were extraordinarily supportive and tried to make it the best ‘arranged’ way as possible.

Caste - society won’t change. To cut a long story short, my friend got married where no one from the girl’s family was present. They didn’t even know.

It was after months of speculation, whether he was doing the right thing or not. And that’s the reason I’m proud of him, it’s never easy convincing someone. especially with that attitude of an ‘other’ generation; where society matters more than everything else. Whereas, the fact is that the only society you have to fear is the one in which people think negatively like you do, YOU make the society the way it is, so YOU can fear it, or flaunt it, or use it, to justify something illogical.

I know this, I saw a boy grow into a responsible, ambitious and a mature man, when he thought he found his soul mate. He did all the communication, negotiation and decision making in a few months which he has been trying to escape all his life. It’s his greatest lesson, and with his responsibility, he has proved that he can survive. He has fought, and will fight. All with HER unwavering support, in spite of being torn herself with all the resistance from a family she’s loved and lived with all her life. Each story is different, each conclusion is different.

When it comes to un-arranged marriages and the effort it takes, some shouldn’t fight, some can’t fight, some aren’t worth fighting for, some - well, most are best left unexplained. But the ones that have survived are not just love stories, they are stories of survival and what people do under difficult circumstances. This is not heroism, mind you. A true hero is one who can face the truth, not one who can hide it well enough. That’s cowardice.