here….

“Everyone has a secret. Frank Warren will share the ones he has collected from people around the world through his PostSecret Project”….(link via UAB)

Henceforth it be known, to all current and future room mates/flat mates (guests pardoned by default, pardon can be revoked the second time you are a guest), or anyone who happens to be in the kitchen at the wrong time (means I’m  around).

Assumptions/facts -

• Everyone who can eat can cook (something).
• Everyone who can cook must eat what they’ve cooked (without complaining).

Top 13 sins…

1. NO vegetable is a bad vegetable (unless you have a medical reason to support your claim).
2. Bitter gourd is tasty, anyone who refutes it has a special place in hell.
3. To cook fish; you must know how to clean fish (or meat products in general).
4. No curry or Indian item will need more than 1 masala  or 2 if you are a noob, if you think a combination of more than 2 store-bought masalas will make something tasty, either you are incredibly lucky- or you will never be allowed in my kitchen again.
5. Guys can cook, usually better than most females. Post-marriage we just grow more lazy and learn to act better. Blame our moms.
6. You NEVER burn spatulas in my kitchen, what were you cooking – the kitchenware or food?
7. Store bought rotis, chapatis or other flat bread items are for EMERGENCY only (too tired to cook, to late at night after work). Don’t stack up the refrigerator with that cr*p.
8. Don’t ask me, if you should cook rice. Don’t ask any south Indian if you should cook rice. Unless you want to go to hell. Remember what Nike says? Just do it.
9. The closest you can get to canned food is ginger-garlic  paste, using frozen vegetables or tomato puree in place of fresh veggies will incur wrath.
10. Dudes -  I know how much we all love gym, and you don’t need to flaunt your abs around the kitchen, wear a shirt or a tee when you are in the kitchen and cooking. Single young ladies – with my room mates around, YOU WANT to be covered
11. If you are standing at the stove for more than 45 min, either you are expecting guests for dinner or something is terribly wrong. Get ready to go to the restaurant and get your wallet.
12. Don’t ask me if chutneys can be made without a food blender/”mixie”.
13. The worst sin of all – when you cook chick peas, and you don’t rinse out the preservative fluid and I catch you doing it. I’ll personally write a recommendation to a special place in hell (special IS NOT the same as good).

Update -

Tragedy strikes. YSR killed in a helicopter crash. While most probably the finance minister, K Rosaiah or another congress leader of similar seniority will take charge, it would be good, if the central government can ensure the safety of the common man in the city while ‘congress workers’ and other followers are prone to the common rampage emotions in moments of distress like this. We have lost a leader, no meaning in losing our peace – I hope we mourn in peace.

—-

Multiple reports since the past several hours, about the Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh, going missing and remaining out of contact.

A short list of the most possible theories in my view -

1. Technical Snag in the chopper – Quite likely that there may have been a technical snag that led to landing in some remote area.  Sukhoi jets, and ISRO satellite imagery have not helped yet in locating any chopper or chopper debris (the unthinkable). Some reports about the airworthiness of the chopper have been put forward but immediately argued against.
2. Factionism  – A term used only for that specific regions of Andhra, where people of the same community ( despite being same region, religion), fight for superiority or for land and resource domination of that region. YSR, before entering into politics was a known faction leader. Typical faction leaders are known for violent clashes along with a band of private armies. The groups are known for retaining long lost violent memories of violence and bounce back after generations have passed. Factionism is one of the largely glorified subjects of Telugu Cinema.
3. Naxalism – Another ill that bogs down some regions of South India, armed communist oriented people in the tribal areas, with ideologies of revolution and struggle against governments. They have often attacked high profile targets including the ex-CM on a religious trip to Tirupati 8-10 years ago. The target was missed, though there were a couple of bodyguard deaths and some serious injuries to the ex-CM, NCB Naidu. This was followed by a violent suppression of naxal leaders who were hunted down and killed by security forces. Naxalism is one evil, that is just short of terrorism but has not been taken care of for several decades now. Certain areas in AP, including some residential colleges are prone to public preaching by the red army that the government tends to ignore.
4. Terrorism – Most terrorist activities are usually in and around Hyderabad, the main city. This does make it highly improbable, but is on the list because of the precise reason that security forces may have never considered a terrorist threat in the sub-urban / rural areas of AP.
5. It’s all one big communication mistake – the last theory with the least probability is that, the CM made a safe landing somewhere but could not get back in contact because of a minor injury/communication issues. However because of the time that has lapsed since he was first missing reported, this is also a very unlikely theory. Whatever the case may be, or a combination of more than one theories above, especially the first one, makes it really hard to accept that a CM of the state of AP has been missing for nearly an entire day and is still safe out there. The weather, from what I understand, isn’t helping much and the search and rescue operations are not entirely affective in such weather. But keeping fingers crossed and hoping that YSR returns safe and sound. Every passing hour is bringing a bad news closer to his party workers and constituents. Hoping things turn out OK for him…

Sakshi TV is sporadically online with the latest news in Telugu, the news channel is owned by Rajashekar Reddy’s son – Jagan and will probably have reliable news updates as soon as they confirm it.

New post at UberDesi

An exciting video here -

Prof. Ravi Shankar is a published poet, and a faculty member at the Central Connecticut State University. On July 10th this year, he was arrested on false charges, and detained for more than 30 hrs in a NY detention facility while being hurled with racial epithets. His record only had an unpaid speeding ticket, but he was being arrested as he ‘fit’ the description of a 140 pound caucasian male, while being a 200 pound, East Indian male.

New post at Uberdesi.com

Quick Gun Murugun ke gun gao…

Never has been South Indian Satire given such a neat style..

Link via churumuri

But still beautiful …

A 1.7 mile trail around, a pond named after the book ‘Walden’, by  Henry David Thoreau. Swimming (read – trying not to drown in 5 feet high water close to the shore of the pond), and then running  around the trail after a work day. Priceless.

Conversation while running. prizeless.

“So, keep practising, or take lessons in YMCA. You move well under water, you need to control your breathing and know when to open your mouth and when to close it”.

“huff, puff, uh-huh”. (You too).

“How come you didn’t learn swimming back home in India.”

“Ask Mumy- huff, daddy-puff”

“What?”

“School didn’t have huff-poo puff-ool”

“Only ‘costly’ schools had it?”

“F(*@#huff-puff@er, no – school more academics oriented”

“Still, water and swimming pool, must be a precious commodity?”, No?

“Yeah, huff-puff, in Sahara, and huff-puff in Kalahari and Atacama”

“Where are they?, In India?”

“Your school taught huff-puff, you swimming, but not  huff-puff general knowledge?”

“what?”

“Nothing.”

“So you were short of water and your school didn’t have a swimming pool”

“I’m out of huff-puff, breath, water huff-puff, there, ponds, huff-puff, lakes, huff-puff, even friggin YMCA huff-puff close to home, school-academics, huff-puff, and cricket, soccer, hockey, huff-puff, recitations, debates, essays, huff-puff, no huff-puff, swimming”

“Ok, so the schools in which swimming was taught was a costly place?”

“Right huff huff-puff puff . Exactly huff puff huff puff right “

(C) Browsekid, all rights reserved, permission to use with proper attributions to the blog home page / to the post. Can be waived if  requested through e-mail.

What’s up for Rakhi, asked sis.
I think Eleesh’s up, I said.
“What!?”
“What?!

“What are you gifting me for Rakhi?”
“Oh, where is my Rakhi?”

“I posted it, you will get it soon.”
“No, WHERE is MY rakhi?”

“hmm, we are on the search, your requirements are too specific.”
“What? A simple girl inclined to have a professional life – how bad is that.”

“Is that it?”
“Well, should be hotter than Ash, cuter than Kat and prettier than preity.”
“Really? That’s all?”
“Just thank God, that I didn’t put in sexier than sherlyn.”
“Don’t you have a mirror in your room?”
“You better calibrate your words carefully, I haven’t decided on your gift yet.”
“Hmm, It’s hard to find such a girl in our caste with Master’s and stuff, whose horsocope will match and everything else will be compatible.”
“Hmm, And I thought, Ma & Pa always said, we are from a well educated community.”
“Ok, I don’t want to get into that.”
“Good..leave it at that.”
“So where’s my gift.”
“Find my Rakhi.”
“hmm.”

“Or can I find one myself?”
“NO.”

“You will like her.”
“NO”

“I’ll buy you gold a costly jewellery piece.”
“No”
“Maybe, a little chain with a diamond in it.”
“Hmmmm..No.”
“One for your daughter too.”
“What about my son?”
“In 25 years, I’ll find his Rakhi.”
“No, no.”

“Help me out, give me a hint. How can I get your approval.”
“Do you have a girl in mind?”
“Too many at this moment, but I can narrow down.”
“Is she Telugu.”
“Don’t think so.”
“Is she Indian?”
“She could be, if it’s an absolute necessity.”
“No, forget all this. Where’s my gift?”
“Ok, looks like diversion’s ain’t working. Will get you a gift when you are back.”

“Seriously?”
“Swear on Rakhi Sawant’s marriage, will get you something.”
“like what?”
“Ok, gotta go getting late for work. Good night.”

—

Don’t bother if you don’t get this-  the voices in my head made me do this…

I once met an Australian family in India on a visit to Hyderabad, some 11-12 years ago. They were a friends of a cousin living in Australia and were devout Hindu followers of Caucasian ethnicity, deeply spiritual and interested in an exchange of cultures. I’ve always wondered about perceptions of foreigners visiting India, and after my initial reaction, WHY? I’ve always been curious about their reactions. Last year a friend from grad school e-mailed me about sending her 20 year old daughter to India, alone, for a ‘one year stay and study of college level diploma in a rural place’.

For one sec, I stopped to think – what is the best advice I can give her? A 20-year old American-Caucasian girl in a rural place in India. My friend seemed confident that she could survive any living conditions. I begged to differ, if it was a 20-year old son instead of the daughter, I would have said, go for it, this is one helluva adventure. No question about how much he will learn on his own, not just because he would be in India, but he is alone in an alien place and he will have many opportunities to learn. I strongly advised against her idea of sending her daughter, alone and she seemed disappointed but assumed I was recommending something in her best interest and decided India wasn’t the right place at this time.

Last month, sometime mid-june the CIO of my company dropped by to see if I had time for dinner at an Indian restaurant. Free food with a big shot, sure I can squeeze in some time

He wanted to know what are the places he could visit, I mentioned every damn place I could think of between Kanyakumari and Kashmir, well I stopped at Shimla actually. And also put in Andaman for good measure, he made a list, then consulted travel guides and came up with the ‘golden triangle’. Delhi-Agra-Jaipur and then added Shimla, with hardly 15 days left to plan, I tried my best every weekend to e-mail him suggestions of what to watch out for while he got his visa and every vaccination shot he could think of.

He had a GPS to be delivered (which I actually was hearing for the first time, GPS in India? But unknown to my knowledge, GPS was now a technology gaining popularity in India and it was reasonably efficient, given the complexity of our city layouts).

I suggested that he go on Palace on wheels, one the price was scary, more than 8,000$ on a trip he had planned, and two, also looked like it was out of season this time of the year. So I showed him the irctc.co.in site – for the Indian Railways, something I had first used 7 years ago and was possibly the worst site in terms of usability, but was now fairly aesthetic and functional,  though the train codes were still confusing. Anyway he made first class reservations for travel on Shatabdi express and was pleasantly pleased at the price. I started following him on facebook and twitter from the moment he stepped in Boston Logan airport.

He was fairly balanced in his view and understanding of an alien culture that he knew very less about, his wife had – over a plate of lobster and strawberry pie asked, expressed concern about any ‘violence’ in India. I had told her, other than any minor health related issues, I wouldn’t be worried about violence as such. Mumbai attacks and the lesser known regular terrorist attacks made me rethink my answer many a time, but he knew the risks better than me, and he had made a decision. The customer service in the 5-star hotels he received pleased him, not content with the flashy part, he went for a run whenever he could, through every area he stayed at, with a GPS, and a navigation system in his watch, and another on his phone, he couldn’t get lost, or so he thought. Till he realized he was actually lost in a crowded street in Agra, and asked an auto rickshaw guy for help.

Barring the bad cab driver from Chandigarh airport to Shimla, and the mosque he stepped into, where the maulvi intimated him a little to donate money for the mosque, he was bothered about hygiene in some areas and extreme poverty that he encountered.

So well, here was my direct source of a foreigner’s view of India, for the first time and I was glad to hear, he plans to go back again in the next few years. The extremities of the country surprised him, in many ways. He loved the food, he loved the people, he loved the country.

He also mentioned, how everybody he encountered, wanted to take a pic with his 10-year old kid. He was inquisitive about why a little white kid was such an oddity? Though I have every reason to believe, he was a cute kid and people would find him adorable, every other day I hear about the curiosity in an unsuspecting female tourist, and I don’t mean this in a good way.

Every damn city in the country witnessing an assault on women at some point of time.

M.S. Verma’s article on Merinews.

Maybe some day soon, when a 20-year old American girl wants to go alone, I could recommend it is a safe adventure. It’s my hope and I just wish atrocities against women and children (including foreigners in India), reduce considerably.