Top 13 cooking sins

Henceforth it be known, to all current and future room mates/flat mates (guests pardoned by default, pardon can be revoked the second time you are a guest), or anyone who happens to be in the kitchen at the wrong time (means I’m  around).

Assumptions/facts -

• Everyone who can eat can cook (something).
• Everyone who can cook must eat what they’ve cooked (without complaining).

Top 13 sins…

1. NO vegetable is a bad vegetable (unless you have a medical reason to support your claim).
2. Bitter gourd is tasty, anyone who refutes it has a special place in hell.
3. To cook fish; you must know how to clean fish (or meat products in general).
4. No curry or Indian item will need more than 1 masala  or 2 if you are a noob, if you think a combination of more than 2 store-bought masalas will make something tasty, either you are incredibly lucky- or you will never be allowed in my kitchen again.
5. Guys can cook, usually better than most females. Post-marriage we just grow more lazy and learn to act better. Blame our moms.
6. You NEVER burn spatulas in my kitchen, what were you cooking – the kitchenware or food?
7. Store bought rotis, chapatis or other flat bread items are for EMERGENCY only (too tired to cook, to late at night after work). Don’t stack up the refrigerator with that cr*p.
8. Don’t ask me, if you should cook rice. Don’t ask any south Indian if you should cook rice. Unless you want to go to hell. Remember what Nike says? Just do it.
9. The closest you can get to canned food is ginger-garlic  paste, using frozen vegetables or tomato puree in place of fresh veggies will incur wrath.
10. Dudes -  I know how much we all love gym, and you don’t need to flaunt your abs around the kitchen, wear a shirt or a tee when you are in the kitchen and cooking. Single young ladies – with my room mates around, YOU WANT to be covered
11. If you are standing at the stove for more than 45 min, either you are expecting guests for dinner or something is terribly wrong. Get ready to go to the restaurant and get your wallet.
12. Don’t ask me if chutneys can be made without a food blender/”mixie”.
13. The worst sin of all – when you cook chick peas, and you don’t rinse out the preservative fluid and I catch you doing it. I’ll personally write a recommendation to a special place in hell (special IS NOT the same as good).

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