Please, God

Irrespective of whether you are there or not, please, help me from going insane. I promise I’ll not move again anytime soon and I won’t buy a 100 shirts or T-shirts because they are cheap/they felt good/because I am an absolute idiot.

I won’t buy 4 pairs of sneakers without throwing the old ones (once I feel they are old), I’ll never keep books that I’ll never read, like- Bedford’s introduction to literature, that’s the size of a telephone directory, or Homer’s Iliad, which I read the first page 3 times and couldn’t understand a bit of it (hey, I tried!). I will never buy a home theater system that you can attach to a COMPUTER, and requires seven speakers + a sub-woofer AND seven speaker stands. I’ll never buy cheap wall paintings from WAL*MART to impress girls. I’ll never buy book stands, shoe stands and dumb looking lamp shades from garage sales that will give me the feeling of being an antique collector, when I’m collecting pure junk. I’ll throw away all the cups I get as freebies from job fairs/seminars or dumb ass meetings (from next time onwards), I’ll shred my mail from next month, I’ll label DVDs and CDs from next time onwards. I’ll clean up junk/duplicate files and silly e-mail attachments from my work laptop regularly, next time onwards. I’ll start packing early next time onwards. I’ll probably pray (next time onwards) in a temple, I might even bribe you with a coconut, for now I will bribe myself with a Kendall Jackson. But just this once, if you are there, restore my faith, do a miracle, let someone else pack up my stuff in the way I would want it. Please, God, please. I hope you do what you can, while I sleep.