Attitude 101

10 01 2008

A few answers that cross my mind for questions asked at a WRONG time. Do not intend to hurt / demean any entity. Humorous people proceed below. Others press ctrl+w on your keyboard. 

Idiotic guy on road: Hey you! Hey you! Welcome to America. Where are you from?

Smart Alec: Birmingham, Alabama (in reality, East / West Godavari, India). Where are YOU from?

IG: Me?? I’m American. How long have you been here?

SA: 4.5 (eff’in) years. How long have you been in Birmingham?

IG:  um…2 years.

SA: Well, welcome to Birmingham.

Idiotic guy2 on road: Amigo, English?

Smart Alec: Why?

IG2: I need a dollar.

Smart Alec: Para Español

Educated idiotic guy1: So how does caste system work in your country?

Smart Alec: It doesn’t.

Educated idiotic guy2: Is it true that untouchability still exists in your society?

Smart Alec: Back off 3 feet, lower your gaze  Add a ‘Master’ to the sentence and repeat the question in a pleading tone.


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8 responses to “Attitude 101”

10 01 2008
Santosh (07:38:18) :

Q. Are you Hindi?
A. Yes but I’m also English, Tamil, French, German and Espanol

Q. So why do women have dots on their forehead in your country?
A. So men can target practice.

Q. I don’t understand how arranged marriages work.
A. Think of it as getting married with a woman you just met at Las Vegas with Elvis being replaced by a Hindu priest and 5000 family and friends instead of 5 drunk buddies.

Q. Did you ever see tigers in your cities?
A. Yea but they were Hindu vegetarian tigers.

Q. Do people still travel by elephants?
A. Actually when it’s not raining we prefer magic carpets.

Q. Does everyone work in a call center there?
A. Yes I was born in the Dell call center but grew up in the Delta call center. That also explains why I’m perpetually late to work.

10 01 2008
Sidhu (10:42:05) :

Lol, santosh….I guess we are in the same mood… :)

10 01 2008
smita (14:06:28) :

lol!!!

10 01 2008
smita (14:07:37) :

A guy I know actually convinced his American friends that he owned a pet elephant back home…

11 01 2008
Sidhu (00:06:46) :

Smi,
Not too surprised, considering another guy I know convinced his colleagues that India was in Africa :)

12 01 2008
prathyusha (09:08:30) :

tooo goooddddddddddddddd…and wht santosh wrote tooo hillarious…I did come across some q’s but u know..have to be real sweet to answer…though u feel like answering sumthing else….

12 01 2008
Sidhu (23:10:57) :

Pratyusha, you will get there.. :)

13 01 2008
meena (11:45:27) :

awesome! :)

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