Attitude 101
A few answers that cross my mind for questions asked at a WRONG time. Do not intend to hurt / demean any entity. Humorous people proceed below. Others press ctrl+w on your keyboard.
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Idiotic guy on road: Hey you! Hey you! Welcome to America. Where are you from?
Smart Alec: Birmingham, Alabama (in reality, East / West Godavari, India). Where are YOU from?
IG: Me?? I’m American. How long have you been here?
SA: 4.5 (eff’in) years. How long have you been in Birmingham?
IG: um…2 years.
SA: Well, welcome to Birmingham.
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Idiotic guy2 on road: Amigo, English?
Smart Alec: Why?
IG2: I need a dollar.
Smart Alec: Para Español
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Educated idiotic guy1: So how does caste system work in your country?
Smart Alec: It doesn’t.
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Educated idiotic guy2: Is it true that untouchability still exists in your society?
Smart Alec: Back off 3 feet, lower your gaze Add a ‘Master’ to the sentence and repeat the question in a pleading tone.
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January 10, 2008 at 7:38 am
Q. Are you Hindi?
A. Yes but I’m also English, Tamil, French, German and Espanol
Q. So why do women have dots on their forehead in your country?
A. So men can target practice.
Q. I don’t understand how arranged marriages work.
A. Think of it as getting married with a woman you just met at Las Vegas with Elvis being replaced by a Hindu priest and 5000 family and friends instead of 5 drunk buddies.
Q. Did you ever see tigers in your cities?
A. Yea but they were Hindu vegetarian tigers.
Q. Do people still travel by elephants?
A. Actually when it’s not raining we prefer magic carpets.
Q. Does everyone work in a call center there?
A. Yes I was born in the Dell call center but grew up in the Delta call center. That also explains why I’m perpetually late to work.
January 10, 2008 at 10:42 am
Lol, santosh….I guess we are in the same mood…
January 10, 2008 at 2:06 pm
lol!!!
January 10, 2008 at 2:07 pm
A guy I know actually convinced his American friends that he owned a pet elephant back home…
January 11, 2008 at 12:06 am
Smi,
Not too surprised, considering another guy I know convinced his colleagues that India was in Africa
January 12, 2008 at 9:08 am
tooo goooddddddddddddddd…and wht santosh wrote tooo hillarious…I did come across some q’s but u know..have to be real sweet to answer…though u feel like answering sumthing else….
January 12, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Pratyusha, you will get there..:)
January 13, 2008 at 11:45 am
awesome!
November 7, 2009 at 2:20 am
I cannot imagine what sort of guys u had to convince ha ha ha
the most annoying question from indian ladies
are u telugu ? then followed by
yes I have a friend also who is telugu.
then followed by
why are all the telugus coming to america
in my mind I answer
for the some @#$$% reasons all u morons came to america.
but ofcourse as pleasing I am and try to act out I reply
case 1: if the person is tamil or kannada
hmm not just telugus but houston has plenty of Tamils and Kannadas and blah blah (hoping they haven’t been there and won’t dispute it)
case 2: mallu
Oh I have so many friends from Kerala and they have this huge gang of people close to 200 (ofcourse exaggerated) I only 2 families in 9 years of stay.
case 3:Marati
Oh my hubby’s boss is marati and they have a huge gang of maratis
case 4:cant place where the person asking the question is from
hmm yup and make some nonsensical comment about something unrelated.And make a mental note to myself
dress less like a south indian so please wont call me by language.