Attitude 101

10 01 2008

A few answers that cross my mind for questions asked at a WRONG time. Do not intend to hurt / demean any entity. Humorous people proceed below. Others press ctrl+w on your keyboard. 

Idiotic guy on road: Hey you! Hey you! Welcome to America. Where are you from?

Smart Alec: Birmingham, Alabama (in reality, East / West Godavari, India). Where are YOU from?

IG: Me?? I’m American. How long have you been here?

SA: 4.5 (eff’in) years. How long have you been in Birmingham?

IG:  um…2 years.

SA: Well, welcome to Birmingham.

Idiotic guy2 on road: Amigo, English?

Smart Alec: Why?

IG2: I need a dollar.

Smart Alec: Para Español

Educated idiotic guy1: So how does caste system work in your country?

Smart Alec: It doesn’t.

Educated idiotic guy2: Is it true that untouchability still exists in your society?

Smart Alec: Back off 3 feet, lower your gaze  Add a ‘Master’ to the sentence and repeat the question in a pleading tone.